The Greenhouse Effect
I remember her hair just barely brushed past her shoulders when the trees shed their leaves last fall. Now Elowyn has Rapunzel hair flowing all the way down her back. Horses with horns and wings were affectionately known as “unitorns” but now, sadly, they are properly called “unicorns”. Her independence is flexing its muscles with “I’ll fill up my own cup, mama,” and “I can reach it myself, mama.”
She used to weigh next to nothing and I could carry her around like a baby koala as long as she requested. Now, her growing heaviness in my arms as I carry her down the stairs each morning whispers: she grew a little bit more since yesterday.
Do you measure the time in your children's hair? In how many teeth they’ve lost? Do you measure it by their baby words? Their current fixations and obsessions? Injuries procured? How about which house you called home when you welcomed this child or that one? Or do you remember a given year by their favorite stuffed animal or snack or tv show?
I do.
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Elowyn’s fourth birthday caught me by surprise this year. Let me explain.
April had been busier than normal with raising baby chicks, dealing with some home repairs, and finishing up the school year, among other things, when I flipped to the overview of May in my planner. I made my way through the squares that mark the days of the month, filling in upcoming co-op days, recitals, appointments, and then my pen passed over the 23rd square that read “Elowyn turns 4!”
Ohhh dear.
Parents, back me up on this — May is notoriously the busiest month of the year, save December, right? And Elly’s birthday falls at the pinnacle of it so basically — I blame the calendar.
Ready or not, though, she was turning four.
Without fail, as each of my kids’ birthdays approach, I find myself scrolling back as far as my phone will let me, perusing pictures of them as newborns, then as infants, then as toddlers…all the way up to their current age. I love seeing their faces change through the years, different but still remarkably the same. Reflecting back on Elowyn’s past four years, I can say I truly enjoyed her “babyhood” and I’m so grateful for that. I can’t put my finger on exactly why – maybe it’s because she was my third born, or maybe because I had the extra bandwidth of two older siblings who could entertain each other, or maybe it was the way our story began when she entered the world – but I deeply relished my time with her from day one.
I held her as long as I pleased. I put off chores and errands to be with her. I didn’t rush her phases and stages. And yet, even with all my savoring, her babyhood quickly vanished.
That’s how it goes, isn’t it? One day you’re waking up in the hospital with a baby on your chest and the next you’re braiding her insanely long hair while she tells you about how much she loves that new lizard she caught on the porch.
I don’t have a pretty bow to tie onto this sentiment for you or for myself. It’s just a hard truth to reckon with. The baby years are fleeting. The whole of childhood is such a small window, such a momentary beauty. You cannot bottle it up but you can protect it, care for it gently, steward it well, and nurture it up to the last second. Also why a request to snuggle from any of my kids is met with a quick yes. Always yes.
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Sometimes homeschool gets a bad rap for “isolating” kids in a bubble. I am sure that happens in some cases, but that’s not the homeschool I know. I heard someone* say recently that it’s more accurate to describe what homeschool provides as a greenhouse for our kids. Meaning, it’s a place to cultivate and nurture them in an atmosphere conducive to developing strong, deep roots before being exposed to all the elements and the storms that the world presents. Isn’t that a beautiful picture?
This idea resonated with me so much, because it not only reflects my philosophy about homeschool, but about childhood in general.
Don’t think that if you’re not a homeschool parent you can’t get in on this too. You can. Creating a greenhouse effect in your home simply means it’s a place of cultivation, security, nurturing, and growth. A place to diligently plant seeds of faith and truth, water them continually, and disciple them daily to know and love God more. It’s relational. It’s intentional. It’s not rushing childhood. It’s stepping into your rightful place as their primary influence. Home is the haven where your children become rooted and established so they’re prepared for what’s to come.
“They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” (Isaiah 61:3). Let it be so, Lord.
*via @redbrickschoolhouse on Instagram
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For the record, we did end up giving Elowyn a very memorable fourth birthday. My lack of advanced planning was redeemed — she got to turn four at the beach, a dream come true in my opinion! A small “unitorn” party followed when we got home, complete with sparkles and glitter and even a piñata.
As is tradition in our family, the night before her party she sat in my lap facing me while I told her again the story of her birth. Although she’d heard it before, this time she sat with rapt attention, her big eyes taking in every word and detail like never before. I love the opportunity to explain how they are each a miracle, treasured and immensely loved. Her birth was a hard one for me to grapple with emotionally, but getting to retell it to her four years later, I’m simply left with overwhelming gratitude for her little life.
I wrote a poem about her birth and published it last month on my long-forgotten Wordpress blog. You can read it here.
What we’ve been up to:
I would say I’m in my “Minimalist era,” but I’m hopeful this is a lifelong lifestyle change. More to come on this later, but if you feel the itch at all to give your home some breathing room and make it a more peaceful place, start with this Youtube video from The Minimal Mom and I promise you, you’ll be inspired.
We have recently been able to harvest some of our garden (zucchini, squash, lettuce, cucumbers, blueberries, and strawberries) and it has been so, so satisfying. I’m attempting to make pickles from our cucumbers this week. We did the intensive gardening method this year and while we need to tweak some things, we’ve been happy with the outcome overall. For a quick overview of this method, click here.
We brought two new goats to the farm! They are mini Nubians (the goats with the long ears) and they are sweet and ADORABLE. We named them Daphne and Delilah and so far they’ve integrated well into the herd.
I mentioned earlier we went to the beach in May. It never disappoints. My kids favorite part was the neighborhood pool….anyone else drive allllll the way to the beach just for your kids to ask to go to the pool???
What I’m loving:
Shawna Holman /A Little Less Toxic – She shares how to live a healthier life in incremental, manageable ways. Think crunchy but approachable :) She also has a book that I’m looking forward to reading!
Our window bird feeder – It sticks to the window and the whole family has enjoyed watching our birds come by for a snack. Can you tell I’m embracing all the grandma hobbies?
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less – Going along with my minimalist pursuits, I first heard this book recommended by Sarah Mackenzie and am only a chapter in but I’m FULLY hooked. I’ll share more about it when I finish reading it.
This Mother Teresa quote I keep taped on my kitchen window: “Wash the plate not because it is dirty, nor because you’re told to wash it but because you love the person who will use it next.” Keeps my heart right when I have a bad attitude about my sink full of dirty dishes. :)
Talk to you soon friends!
Living in His Radiance,
Shanna
Thank you so much for your words on homeschooling. After much prayer and discussion we’ve decided to homeschool our four kids and the words you shared encouraged me and reflected so deeply why we felt lead to make this choice!